


Nightmares

by sandersonsister



Category: The Maze Runner (2014), The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Angst, Death Cure Spoilers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-07
Updated: 2015-01-07
Packaged: 2018-03-06 13:29:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3136157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sandersonsister/pseuds/sandersonsister
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thomas has nightmares. And in his nightmares, he sees Newt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nightmares

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, this is full of angst. This is your warning. Loads of angst...

_“What if one of us doesn’t make it?” Thomas questioned, letting his hand slowly move through the blond hair._

_“We will,” Newt replied, his voice coming from where his head was resting against Thomas’s chest._

_“But what if we don’t?” Thomas asked once again, voice breaking at the thought of one of them getting killed in the maze. The maze that had already killed so many. The maze that was his fault._

_Newt sat up, staring down at Thomas. “We will, Tommy. Because we have something to lose if we don’t,” he said, eyes staring into Thomas’s own._

_Thomas felt his face light up as Newt chuckled and moved to rest his head against Thomas’s chest once again. Thomas just wished they could stay here, like this. Forever._

_But then something changed. He wasn’t lying down anymore, instead he was standing, staring down at Newt. Newt, who was begging him. Begging._

_“Please, Tommy. Please.”_

Thomas woke up with a scream, horror and guilt chewing away inside him. No, no, he didn’t want to see that. Didn’t want to remember that. Remember what he did. Remember what Newt asked him to do. 

He couldn’t handle remembering that. 

It was the one thing that could break him. 

“You alright?” Minho asked from the other side of the room, his voice calm. Thomas supposed he was used to it by that point. He knew he woke the other boy often. 

“Fine,” Thomas replied, voice choked to the point he knew Minho had noticed. But Minho just turned over, not asking questions.

And Thomas knew he wouldn’t have answered even if he had asked.

Minho didn’t know what the terrors were. Didn’t know what they were about. He didn’t know that Thomas had held a gun to his best friends head. To Newts head. Didn’t know that Newt was…

Thomas couldn’t tell him. 

He wouldn’t tell him.

Minho would never know.

Minho assumed Thomas was upset that Newt was out there – that Newt was losing his mind and becoming…. He was the one person that knew just how close Newt and Thomas were. Had been. How close they had been because Newt wasn’t there anymore.

He wasn’t there because Thomas put a gun to his head.

_“Please Tommy. ._

Thomas bit back a sob, forcing himself to lie back down and turn his face into the pillow. Newt wouldn’t want him to think like this. Wouldn’t want him to…

_“It’s your fault._

All of it.

At the time, Thomas knew Newt was saying those things to force him into…to make it easier on Thomas. But now, now Thomas saw the truth in those words. It was his fault. Newt was dead because of him. Newt, Alby, Teresa, Chuck… the list continued, on and on. So many dead. His fault. Always his fault.

He could end the guilt. End the sadness. Be free of it all… but he didn’t deserve that. Didn’t deserve to leave the thing they had all been fighting for.

Didn’t deserve to be with Newt.

Not now.

One day, one day he would do something that would make Newt proud. Something that Thomas would be proud of. Proud to show Newt.

Until then, he had to stay here. Stay here and live with the guilt. Live with knowing what he had done. Live with the nightmares. 

At least there was one good thing about the nightmares, Thomas thought as he slowly drifted off to sleep. At least I see Newt there.


End file.
